Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Procrastnation

Just a quick post because I haven't in a while. Lots of craziness is going on so I will try to elaborate in the next few days.

I saw this and it was scary. Here's a local report out of Miami/Dade Co. about people trying to get complaint forms from the Police dept. Scary! http://cbs4.com/topstories/local_story_033170755.html

This flickr pool is particularly interesting: http://www.flickr.com/groups/59319377@N00/pool/

And FINALLY the 2005 Darwin Awards have been released. Enjoy!

The Official -2005 Darwin Awards
Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here then, are the glorious Darwin Award Winners for 2005:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15 . (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Watch This. It's fucking incredible. It Apple makes a laptop with this technology... wow.


Handy identification chart for Vice-Presidential hunting trips:

(from Needlenose)
An email received at work...



Paris Hilton is a Greedy Whore



Paris Hilton threatened to pull out of the Brit Awards unless she
had a jacuzzi in her dressing room. Hilton, who was hired to report from the red
carpet, was ready to boycott the show if the producers didn't meet her
demands.
The producers had to tell her the facts of life, that her dressing
room is precisely that - a place to get dressed, nothing else," the source
said. "Paris wasn't happy and threatened to pull out. However wiser heads
explained to her that her fat fee should more than compensate for any
discomfort."
Paris was offered $235,000 to report from the red
carpet. In the real world, she couldn't work the touch-screen register at
McDonald's, yet she's handed exorbitant amounts of money to do nothing, and
still manages to be an ungrateful bitch. I've never had any interest in bow
hunting or explosives, but they may just become my full time hobby.






BEAUTIFUL! I couldn't have said it better myself. Here are some important points to consider after we've learned that VP Cheney shot his lawyer friend in the face (stolen from boingBoing)..

The important questions raised by this hunting accident are:

  • *Are* lawyers in season right now?

  • Was the lawyer at least a 4-point?

  • Was Cheney within his permit limit?

  • Was the Cheney aide misquoted about the lawyer's hunting suit having a target on the back, or that he'd bought it at Target a while back?

  • Will Disney adapt this into a cartoon about a baby lawyer having to adjust to living in the wild without his parent?

  • Is this what you should expect if you don't contribute enough to a political reelection fund in the future?



One more: Or is this the administration's new plan for tort reform, No Lawyer Left Behind?

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Monday, February 13, 2006

Monday, monday.. bleh!

The last two weeks have been busy, hence the lack of blog goodness. No one reads anyways, so who cares.
 
Kentucky Basketball has really gone in the shitter this season.  While I will never stop being a fan, the pain is too much to bear right now.  I'm taking a hiatus from watching games, listening to sports radio, reading articles, etc.  I doubt I will even start watching if they start playing better.  Now is a time when I'm not drinking and am *generally* healthier, but the watching games has become mentally unhealthy for me.  I suppose it's time to take a break.
 
Lots of fun stuff on the superweb this morning.
 
WoW 1.10 Patch preview from somethingawful: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3566 <3!!!